I read an
article recently on NVS written by Chukwudi Ede who wondered what the last straw
for Nigerians will be before they start saying to each other and to the
politicians, "enough is enough". I remember commenting that i didn’t think that
any such time will come.
Now, don’t go calling me a traitor or a false prophet, you see, the thing is
that i have seen the light (so i think), and have also been a Nigerian long
enough to safely boast that I now know the psyche of the Nigerian. I have used
the Frank Olize index to arrive at my conclusion which is that nothing mega
(apologies, what i meant to say was that nothing will happen). Even if you take
away the jolly-jolly part of our national life which more than compensates for
any hardship (be it of an interim, of a long suffering or any other nature),
plus the grit and the never-say-never spirit Nigerians are famed for, you will
be surprised still that your typical Nigerian is one special breed. He or she
has always, and will always be studious a example in survival techniques. Come
rain, come shine, the Nigerian always looks beyond the horizon; he/she sees what
lies beneath. Hope it is called, and that my dear friends is why i think that i
may not in my lifetime see the fabled last straw Chukwudi was searching for.
I had to visit Lagos last week for a few days to arrange for my sabbatical, part
of my grand plot to go back to my fatherland eventually. I am hoping that at the
end of the period, I will not have any further reason to come back to the London
cold, the Queen and the rest of her posse at Buckingham Palace can shove their
40% taxes down the Blackwell tunnel. I like using such short breaks and trips to
feel the pulse of the nation by talking to people. Who ever I meet, cab drivers,
small business owners, school children, beer drinkers, social scientists and
public analysts (It never hurts to hear things from the people who are down
there in the trenches surviving), you could feel an upbeat spirit within them.
Even in the midst of the mother of all Lagos traffic jams along Isolo Bridge, a
jam that lasted over 4 hours, i still saw smiles on people’s faces. What is it
then that holds the faces together? Is it something run-aways like me don’t see?
It suddenly began to dawn on me that all those of us who live abroad and look
inwards from outside may be somewhat blind to the new Nigeria.
You would have thought that i chose the wrong time to visit Nigeria because of
the no-show attitude of the kill joys that made sure that the mood of some
people remained sullen. You will be surprised to hear this but their sullen and
sunken mood did not have much to do with Yar’Adua (Thank God), nor his fellow
politicians including Olusegun Obasanjo who Nollywood producers are thanking at
the moment for delivering to them free-of-charge an Oscar winning script.
Believe me, that was the least on the minds of the people. Their major
pre-occupation was the dwindling fortunes of the national team. Their beloved
Super Eagles team failed to launch in Ghana, soaring wouldn’t have been possible
if launching didn’t take place. And so it was the same story at every viewing
centre set up by Coca-Cola and other companies wishing to cash in on the Ghana
2008 Nations Cup euphoria.
We watched the Nigeria – Mali match at The Vault and you couldn’t help but pity
the owners who had to contend with a motley crowd that night, booze did not
flow, the tills did not register much, yours truly stuck to water (I’m battling
the bulge), Charles Okoli my friend nursed a Malta Guinness and cursed and swore
all through the game. Nearby, there were a few beers being drunk in some of the
tables and that was it really. But for a few Oyinbos donning the Super Eagles
jerseys with Oyinbo boldly imprinted at the back, there was really nothing on
display, both on the pitch and in the joint to suggest that Ghana 2008 was
anything special, at least from the supporters’ point of view. The oven grills
remained dry and the fishes perhaps enjoyed one more night at the lagoon. Who
says that surviving in Lagos is so much a problem these days?
Now you can see how bad things are now with those over-paid, over-played ball
players – the Super Eagles, they have no more pulling powers and are struggling
to fill local beer parlours and bars, thus playing an active role in
re-directing the approaching global economic depression towards our shores (Now
you know who to hold responsible if it eventually happens). Who cares about
their fancy run-outs with their Berti Vogts when there is 9 – points Ghana to
watch?
Anyway, things may not be so bad after all; you may be surprised that there may
be those who are rejoicing over the Eagles’ misfortunes. Did you think i meant
Ivory Coast or Mali? I’m talking about conservationists, those who have long
campaigned that Cat, Tilapia and other species of fishes are now endangered
species in Nigeria. Their animal rights counterparts who campaign for the
ethical treatment of animals and who also insist that cows, goats and rams being
ferried to the water side slaughter house to be bludgeoned to death, should at
least be dragged down there with dignity. They will be rejoicing too.
Guess who their allies will be? Not Amnesty International, not RSPCA either. It
is the wives and sweethearts. Now, look at the connection, The Eagles failing to
soar means that boys (or men) will spend less time at the beer parlours, they
will also likely come home early thus saving themselves from adding to the bulge
and any further leaking holes in their pockets, now that’s something. Who would
like to be like me this New Year? After coming down with the flu recently, I
visited a clinic and all the nurse could tell me after measuring my BMI was that
i was clinically obese, how sweet? And I used to think that my 3-minutes morning
work-outs were working; now I know better.
Okay, back to the last straw issue (Not the ones being eaten by Oshodi market -
bound cows). Beside the Super Eagles, the average Nigerian (by this I mean the
man in the street) currently goes about his business as usual. Now for those of
us living in the diaspora, you will be surprised actually to hear that people
are enjoying. It’s up to you if you want to use Fela’s ‘Shuffering and Schmiling’
to describe their quality of life but na you sabi. Perhaps Obasanjo may be the
most loathed Nigerian at the moment but many people will be surprised to hear
that he is loved and very much so in some quarters for his attempt at opening up
the Nigerian economy through some policies that also enriched him and his
associates. The likes of Prof. Pat Utomi have long decried the absence of a
middle class in Nigeria, these special breed are usually professionals, very
young, creative, enterprising and energetic, their mandate as in other societies
is to drive the economy with their taxes, ideas and skills. If you are indeed a
Nigerian, or a lover of everything Nigeria, you will be blind not to see that
the middle class which last played any active role in the Nigerian economy in
the 70s are back, and this time with a vengeance.
You will see members of this elite troupe all over Lagos and in other urban
cities in their brand new SUVs, Honda, Toyota or Mercedes Benz cars cruising
through life as if they minted money in their backyards. They camp out at plush
locations, at Lekki Estates in Lagos or in the many estates in Abuja and other
cities with an array of house helps at their beck and call. They play the stock
market, dress in fancy suits and are the ones driving Nigeria’s fast rising
mortgage market, ensuring that the future of Nigeria is bright. They are our own
generation next stalking major boardrooms in corporate Nigeria, their age ranges
are between 30 and 45 (Did I hear you calculate your own age?)
Now what does this say about my fellow internet pirates? you know us, we are the
ones that are always predicting doom and calamity for Nigeria, cursing and
abusing the usual suspects, and urging our countrymen down there in the trenches
to rise up and fight. All with our feet high up on our buy-now-pay-later DFS
sofas? We are guilty as well, as charged.
Maybe I should put it simpler. Sure the lights are still out, the roads are bad,
the politicians are still stealing money but do look for what lies beneath,
Nigerians are turning the corner, slowly and surely and you don’t want to miss
the emerging opportunity this land of sleeping giants presents.
Now, don’t you go thinking that the emerging and rising prosperity only applies
to the likes of 2 Face, D’Banj and all those in the music industry, or just to
their Nollywood brethren. it spreads right across the whole social, political
and economic spectrum. No, you will only be limited by the depth of your dreams.
If you wait any longer, the guys running the show will spring the trap and once
that closes, coming in will be a lot tougher. Talk about one being an immigrant
in his own country, do you want that?
Aha, one more thing, the Nigerian on the street has little time for the
internet; he will not likely waste his time in an internet cafe reading our
venomous attacks on the government, just show him how he can advance further in
his life with our Oyinbo ideas and you got him hooked for life, just maybe.
January 2008
http://thelongharmattanseason.blogspot.com/
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